Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
