They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
