You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
