literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
