Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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