the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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