Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I could fuck to npr.
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