Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
