Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
