I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
