i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
