I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
