hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
