I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
