How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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