Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
