4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
