two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
