Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
