That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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