I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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