Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
