Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
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