Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
it's like iHOP with fire
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
