I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
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