Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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