And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
