So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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