can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
