Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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