ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
