Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
