She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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