you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
