shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
