So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
