You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
