I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
