I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
