Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
