"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My vagina is officially offended.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
