you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
