Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
