just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
