hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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