I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
