Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
