meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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