I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
