Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Randomize