Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
